Prayer Is Not Really About Asking for Stuff, It's About Meditation
Deconstructing Christianity: Jesus and the apostles are clear. Prayer is not begging a deity for things; it is a way to meditate.
If a four-year-old were to ask, “What is prayer?”, one might answer, “Prayer is talking to God.” This could be an apt description of prayer for a young child. It is certainly a scriptural one. Never mind that the next question is likely to be, “Who is God?”
For mature adults interested in some level of spiritual depth, prayer assumed as merely ‘talking to God’ is inadequate. Many concepts in Christianity need to change. Prayer is one of them. Christianity needs to reorient itself to the subtler concept of prayer that its ancient adherents once possessed.
Arguably, the most common understanding of prayer is ‘asking God for things’ (known as ‘supplication’). Prayers spontaneously uttered in moments of extreme fear, grief, or crisis tend to urgently implore God for something. Composed collects are used in liturgical traditions to gather intentions and focus worship into succinct prayers, following a prescribed form centering on a request for something, that a certain result might be obtained. A scriptural basis exists for understanding prayer as ‘asking God for things’, but it depends largely on an interpretation informed by the same preconceived notion.
Much of what is commonly understood as ‘prayer’ in the Hebrew Bible are depictions of dialogue with YHVH, the casting of lots by Judahn kings, liturgical declamations before an assembly, or prophetic dialogues with YHVH in poetic form. For more on that, see my post What Does the Hebrew Bible Tell Us About Prayer?
The gospels cast prayer in a different light. There are no dialogues between YHVH (or ‘the Father’) and individual people. There are a few depictions of God speaking audibly, but none of them are connected with prayers or dialogues with God.
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Jesus teaches that the proper place for individual prayer is in seclusion, and the proper words are sparing. His sayings about telling a mountain to be removed and cast into the sea, or his disciples receiving whatever they ask in his name are not really about prayer. They are in the context of his encouraging the apostles in their faith and to be persistent in the practice of prayer when they face challenges after he is no longer with them, and when temple worship is no more.
In those instances when Jesus says something aloud to the Father, he is always observed by a group of people, and the words he is speaking are for their benefit. Even if he asks for something, his words are part of his public proclamation. This is true in John 17, even if an editor’s heading refers to his words as a prayer. When gospel texts say that Jesus went to pray, he prays alone.
His disciples were curious about what he was doing when he went to pray. When one of them asks, he offers them a model prayer. The ‘Lord’s Prayer’ is a series of may-it-be statements providing a meditative exercise for equanimity and peace in the face of what typically concerns us. The fact that Jesus sought to get away from the noise and bustle of crowds and the distraction of his disciples and get by himself to pray is a strong indication that he was engaging in a contemplative practice requiring quiet stillness, and calm, disciplined focus. To understand why, see my post The Lord's Prayer Doesn't Ask for Stuff - It's a Guided Meditation.
The Pauline epistles of Romans, First Thessalonians, and Ephesians (the latter possibly imitating Paul) all use the language of remembering them in his prayers before God. While this might be used as a euphemism for asking God for things on someone’s behalf, it rather suggests that Paul is thinking about or recalling them while engaging in a practice of prayer.
In First Thessalonians Paul says he mentions them while praying. In both First Thessalonians and Philippians he writes of feeling joy “before (our) God” as he prays for them. In First Thessalonians, he writes, “Night and day we pray most earnestly that we may see you face to face and restore whatever is lacking in your faith.” Insofar as Paul is describing a may-it-be-so approach, then the idea of being earnest suggests qualities of sincerity and conviction that what he is doing is proper.
In writing to the Romans, Paul does mention asking that by God’s will he “may somehow at last succeed in coming to you.” This extends his statement that “without ceasing I remember you always in my prayers.” The idea of always remembering “without ceasing” could be understood as Paul never leaving off praying for them, but it also suggests maintaining a state of mind or attitude of spiritual awareness cultivated by the practice of prayer.
At the end of First Thessalonians, besides encouraging them to “rejoice always” and “give thanks in all circumstances,” Paul also instructs them to “pray without ceasing.” Together with always rejoicing, and always giving thanks, this instruction is as much about cultivating an ongoing attitude of joy, gratitude, and inward self-awareness as it is about certain actions or behaviors; those would rather follow from a properly cultivated state of mind and heart.
In Philippians 4 Paul tells them, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.” He goes on to make a distinction between prayer, supplication, and thanksgiving. For Paul, prayer is one thing; asking for things is another; being thankful is yet another. The purpose of these is not to get what is desired; their purpose is to manage anxiety and develop inward peace—the aim of any meditative practice. With a ‘Father’ who already knows what we need, our “requests” become a way to release what we desire. As the passage says:
Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Prayer is not about getting what we want. It is about learning to let go of what we want, cultivating inward peace, equanimity, and the capacity for true compassion, whether we get what want or not. Prayer is an exercise in developing individual and collective maturity.
The salutation in the epistle to the Colossians, whether written by Paul or imitative of Paul, contains the same features of thanking God for them, and not having ceased praying for them. It continues with the affirmations, “May you be made strong...” and, “may you be prepared to endure...” Unquestionably imitative of Paul, the first chapter of Second Timothy includes the author remembering them constantly in his prayers, and longing to see them that he “may be filled with joy.”
At the end of Ephesians 3 is a timelessly beautiful prayer of benediction and affirmation to readers and hearers. The author says,
...I bow my knees before the Father...
...that you may be strengthened in your inner being with power...
...that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, as you are being rooted and grounded in love.
...that you may have the power to comprehend...the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge...
...that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
After relinquishing glory to the One who can accomplish more than we can ask or imagine, the prayer ends with “Amen.” Which, of course, means ‘may it be so’.
Finally, there is this instruction on prayer given at the end of James:
Are any among you suffering? They should pray. Are any cheerful? They should sing songs of praise. Are any among you sick? They should call for the elders of the assembly and have them pray over them, anointing them with oil in the name of the Lord. The prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise them up; and anyone who has committed sins will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The prayer of the righteous is powerful and effective.
This passage certainly has been and can be interpreted magically. It will continue to be, depending on the consciousness of a given reader. For purposes of understanding prayer as a meditative or contemplative practice, it suggests that such a practice reduces suffering; comforts the sick and those caring for them, giving hope for recovery; releases one from guilt and regret; cultivates humility about shortcomings; and contributes to wholeness. “The prayer of the righteous is powerful and effective” indicates those results, without particular reference to having one’s specific desires fulfilled.
In summary, nothing in scripture indicates that prayer must be understood solely as ‘talking to God’ or ‘asking God for things’. New Testament scriptures referring to prayer can and will be interpreted in this way, depending on the relative maturity of readers and hearers. But they can just as well be understood as referring to a meditative or contemplative practice of prayer meant to cultivate tranquility, equanimity, the capacity for unconditional love, and the peaceful, self-controlled thought, speech, and action that follow. This is arguably what Jesus and the apostles were aiming at with respect to prayer.